Here’s a common question: why is she ignoring me? Or, why is he ignoring me?
In psychology, people want to know why people ignore you, despite efforts to reach out and make friends or even initiate conversation. This can be challenging mentally, so let’s take a look at how to approach this.
Today we’re going to learn about ten reasons why people are ignoring you, now let’s begin.
Do you need someone to acknowledge you before you speak up? Do you always wait for someone else to ask you a question? If you’re not taking the initiative, it could be the reason why people are ignoring you. Countless people make this same mistake every single day.
Let’s say you have something you want to add to the conversation, you plan everything out in your head, but you don’t know when or how to make yourself heard. So, you wait for someone else to give you an opening. You need them to invite you into the conversation, but you know that rarely ever happens.
If you don’t speak up, no one’s going to do it for you. It might feel like you’re ignored, but in reality, you’re silencing yourself. So, if you want to participate in the conversation, there’s only one way to do it; you have to acknowledge yourself and put yourself out there. Otherwise, you’re going to stand around, waiting for something that’ll never happen.
Also read: How to Stop Being Nervous & Awkward
Do you overthink everything? I mean, do you plan out a million different things to say without actually saying anything? If this sounds like you, I’ve got good news and bad news.
The good news is that overthinking is natural and very common, but here’s the bad press. It might be the real reason people keep ignoring you. If you’re an over-thinker, you might feel like you’re participating more than you are.
In your head, you’re actively engaged, you’re thinking about questions you could ask, and you’re considering different perspectives, but you’re not saying anything out loud. So, people don’t realize that you’re trying so hard, they think you’re shy, quiet, or just not paying attention.
They’re ignoring you because they don’t think you want to socialize. You sit there in silence. It’s like putting up a wall, and that wall scares people away. So, what’s the answer? Try to vocalize your thoughts. It doesn’t have to be something incredible or profound. Just let people know that you’re not quiet or disconnected.Something as simple as saying I think that's a good idea can make you seem like a more approachable person, and the more approachable you are, the more people will enjoy talking to you. Click To Tweet
Pessimism is another reason why people get ignored without realizing it. You might become a constant source of negativity, and that might drive people away. The simple truth is that; people want to spend time with others, who are positive and fun. People that can make the best of any situation even if it’s annoying or awkward.
Okay, let’s say your friends are meeting for coffee, they’re all excited to see each other, and they want to have a good time, but what if you can’t stop whining about your life? That’s going to ruin the mood for everybody else. So, the next time they go out for coffee, your friends may not invite you because they just want to enjoy each other’s company. Not sit and listen to you complain.
In other words, if you’re the kind of person who’s always complaining, it’s time to stop because that negativity might be making you the odd man out.
Let’s say you’re getting lunch; when you see your friend standing across the room, you wave at them, but instead of waving back, they ignore you. Does that mean you’re not friends anymore? Does that mean they hate you? Now, this sounds like bad reactions, but many people assume that. They get stuck in these destructive trains of thought.
They convince themselves that their whole friendship is falling apart. At the moment, it feels like a nightmare, but if you take a step back, you’ll realize how insignificant it is. Chances are your friend didn’t see you. They may have been thinking about something else, or maybe they were in the middle of a different conversation. If you automatically assume, it will end up accidentally pushing your friend away.
Sometimes people seem like they’re ignoring you when they’re just preoccupied with something else. So, the next time you’re feeling left out, just make sure you’re not just jumping to conclusions.
Many people start to panic when they’re feeling ignored. They’re so scared of being left out that they overcompensate. They try to be the funniest person in the room, the best entertainer or the person with the most exciting stories, but the truth is no one’s expecting you to be the best at anything.
When you try to stand out, you end up pushing people away because you’re not yourself. You’re pretending to be something you’re not, and other people will notice right away. Ultimately people want to feel comfortable, and that means being you. Even if you’re worried about being weird, acting weird is almost always better than trying too hard.
Sometimes people ignore you because of your body language. These nonverbal cues, often called hidden body language discourage people from interacting with you. They tell people that you’re closed off, you don’t want to be social or that you’re not confident in yourself.
Some common signs include staring at the ground, shaking your legs, or folding your body inward. All of these pieces of body language communicate the same thing to the people around you. They say they don’t talk to me. So, that’s exactly what people do.
People may be ignoring you because you’re subtly telling them to.If you want people to feel more comfortable approaching you, use your body language to let them know it is okay. Click To Tweet
No matter where you are, there are specific social cues that you have to pay attention to, Certain standards that you have to follow if you want to blend in. Some are easy and obvious, and others are a little bit harder to pick up on.
If you miss these social cues, people might feel uncomfortable around you, and you might end up feeling ignored .so, what do these social cues look like?
Let’s say you’re feeling super energetic, you’re ready to socialize, and you’re excited to talk to people, normally those are good traits.
Outgoing people attract other people, but not if the rest of the room is quiet and laid-back. If you’re the only one who’s loud and upbeat, it’s going to throw people off, and they might ignore you. It works the same way for other social cues like talking too much or talking about the wrong things.
You have to participate in the conversation without going overboard and talk about things that other people like to. Talk about not just the subjects you want. If you can match these social standards, you’ve got nothing to worry about. But if you miss the mark, you might feel left out.
Many people try to attract attention by playing it cool. They sit back, look as confident as they can, and expect other people to come to them. Instead of drawing others, playing it cool usually pushes people away. That distant attitude makes people feel uncomfortable and awkward around you.
In your mind, you think you’re too cool to socialize or have fun, and that makes you much less approachable. So, instead of trying to act cool, be helpful, friendly, and welcoming. Make it easy for people to relate and feel secure around you. Ultimately, that’s the kind of attitude that draws people in.
When you feel insecure about something, you might get this itch to overcompensate. You try to solve every problem, put out every fire, and go out of your way to make sure no one is ever mad at you.
Even if you have the best intentions, this constant worrying frustrates the people in your life. Not just because you always doubt yourself but also because you’re asking too much.
Okay, imagine you’re working on a project for your boss; if you want to make sure everything turns out perfectly, you email them about every little detail. Eventually, they’re going to get frustrated or ignore you altogether. Why? You’re asking too much, and it’s driving them crazy.
Many people that feel ignored tell the same kinds of stories. They’re long, confusing, and they put the entire room to sleep. Alright, let’s say someone asks you a question like, oh! What’d you do this weekend? A right answer would be something short and sweet.
You might say I play basketball with some friends and then went to the movies. That kind of answer is perfect. It’s simple, and it stimulates a more engaging conversation. The other person can easily ask what movie did you see or where’d you play basketball from? There you can go back and forth, making the conversation fun for everyone.
That’s where many people mess things up. When someone asks about their weekend, they ramble for 15 minutes about every single thing they did; they touch on every tiny detail, and suddenly, that back and forth conversation turns into a one-sided lecture. And that’s not fun for anyone.
In general, people have pretty short attention spans. You might think your story’s interesting, but you’ll probably lose your audience in the first twenty to thirty seconds. So, just keep your stories quick and detail-oriented. If you can do, that person will enjoy talking to you and come back for more.