What are the types of people you need to avoid completely in your life? This article explains these toxic personality types and how to avoid someone who falls into these categories. Ignoring someone may help – but sometimes you have to cut people out of your life completely.
Today, we’re going to learn about seven types of people you need to avoid. Now, let’s begin.
Everyone has a gossip lurking somewhere in their lives – thinking about that friend who can’t stop stirring up conflict or the co-worker who’s constantly talking about other people’s personal lives.A gossip is someone who deliberately tears you down but only behind your back. They'll never say anything bad to your face. Click To Tweet
They’ll smile and pretend they’re your best friend and then talk trash about you moments after you leave the room.
But what’s in it for them? Well, for starters, they think it’s entertaining. Gossips usually don’t realize how much they’re hurting other people, but even if they do, they probably don’t care.
Gossip is also a big ego booster. Criticizing other people gives them power, and it gets people’s attention which makes them feel special too.
Spending time with a gossip is a great way to get hurt. So, do yourself a huge favor and steer clear.
This might be the most irritating personality type on this list. For anyone who has dealt with one firsthand, I am sure you know exactly why. Imagine you just got home from a horrible day at work. That morning, your coworker messed up on a big project but instead of fessing up to your boss, your coworker sat back and let you take the heat. Because of them, you spent the entire afternoon getting yelled at; you thought you might even get fired even though you had nothing to do with it.
Obviously, this is an incredibly frustrating situation. When you get home, you’re still feeling angry and helpless. So, you call your partner to let off some steam, think about what you expect from that phone call – you are looking for a little support, right? You are hoping they’ll listen and make you feel heard but halfway through your story your partner cuts you off and says Oh come on you are just being dramatic.
Emotional underminers do this kind of thing all the time. They constantly brush you off and invalidate your feelings. It doesn’t matter how sad or frustrated you are; they act like your problems just don’t matter.
Now, I know it doesn’t sound that bad, but trust me, it’s a major issue in the long run because your partner isn’t just being negligent; they’re making you feel guilty for expressing yourself. Words like dramatic, crazy and oversensitive trivialize your emotions and it makes you feel foolish for having them.
These bad habits may be subtle, but they’re still extremely toxic because in their mind your feelings just don’t carry any weight. Emotional underminers don’t respect you or take you seriously. They might even think they’re better than you.
Most underminers treat your emotional intelligence like a weakness. Why? Because they struggle to express or understand themselves since underminers can’t translate their own feelings into words.
They make a habit of stepping on the people that can. So, don’t spend another minute getting stepped on. Whether it’s your friend or your partner get rid of the underminers in your life.
Also read: 12 Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship
Let’s say you’re sailing on the ocean when suddenly you run across a reef. The bottom of your boat gets torn apart, and you barely managed to stay afloat. Most people would try to fix their boat, right?
But instead, you turn around and go through that reef a second time and then when that doesn’t sink, you do it again.
That is essentially how this personality type lives. They act out the same destructive cycles and fall for the same traps no matter how much it ruins their life. As a friend or partner, this is incredibly stressful to watch. You know exactly what they’re doing wrong, maybe you’ve told them a dozen times to stop but it never works.
The truth is there’s only so much you can do. If they don’t want to change, it’s not worth sinking alongside them.
These people wear their personality like a mask. On the outside, performers seem polished and controlled. They might dazzle you with their charisma, flourish under the spotlight or win the respect of everyone they meet, but none of it is for real.
It is all a performance. Performers embody the phrase “fake it until you make it” to get what they want. They interact with the world using complicated fake personalities. Now, I say personalities plural because there’s usually more than one.
Many performers have a different mask prepared for every environment – one they wear to impress their friends and another they use to intimidate their co-workers. You see, each mask is tailor-made for a specific kind of reaction – to grab people’s attention, to feel more powerful or just to blend into the crowd.
Performers have no real problem treating their personality like a tool. If they need to become a completely different person, they’ll do it without a second thought.
However, the biggest problem with this personality type isn’t their flexibility; it’s their complete lack of honesty with others and themselves. Performers spend so much time manicuring their fake personalities that they rarely get in touch with their real emotions.
So, most of them are extremely immature. If you manage to get a glimpse behind the curtain, you’ll find someone who’s selfish, childish and almost always unhappy. So, what went wrong? Performers don’t pay nearly enough attention to their interior selves. They are out of touch with their genuine wants, needs and goals.
It takes a lot of time to develop enough confidence to share your interior self with the world. But performers never do. Instead, they are scared of letting down their walls. To a performer, nothing is more terrifying than being vulnerable.
Some people become performers because they’re worried about getting hurt. They use their fake personality like a shield to protect them from danger. Others perform because they’re deeply unsatisfied with their real personalities. Each mask is an opportunity to be someone else – someone they actually like if it wasn’t obvious enough already.
Trust is something you’ll never have with a performer. Bonding is almost impossible because you’re not interacting with their interior selves, you’re just talking to a mask.
Have you ever met someone who’s constantly paranoid? I mean, no matter what they’re doing, they always think someone’s out to get them? If they fail a test, it’s because their teacher hates them. If they get fired from their job, they insist that their co-workers were conspiring against them.
These people don’t think anything is their fault. Instead, they’ll find a thousand reasons why it’s somebody else’s. To make matters worse, this personality type is really judgmental. They are not fun people to be around because, in their eyes, you can never do anything right.
They’ll insult you, they’ll try to control you, and they’ll never forgive you for making a mistake. So, save yourself from the grudges and pointless paranoia. If you run into a ball of nerves, don’t bother getting involved!
Have you ever heard the expression “it’s like talking to a brick wall”? Well, that’s what you get with this personality type. They are terrible communicators, and they’re notoriously distant. But that’s not why they’re toxic.
You might have friends who are reserved and aloof, but they may find other ways to communicate and strengthen your friendship. The real problems start when a brick wall runs away instead of working through their problems.
They completely avoid them. You might notice a brick wall pretending that they’re obvious issues just don’t exist, but they do and someone’s got to take care of them. Unfortunately, that someone usually turns out to be you.
The worst part is, you can’t even confront them about it. Brick walls hate hearing about their failures. If you tell them that they’re in denial, there’s a good chance they’ll lash out.
Now, I know on the surface, it looks like brick walls don’t have any emotions, but they do have pent-up frustration and over time it can cause them and you a lot of unnecessary stress. Many brick walls become bitter, resentful people because they’ve been holding on to the same unresolved issues for their entire lives.
Now, of course, it’s not your job to solve their problems for them. If you know someone who acts like a brick wall, it may be the time to take a step back.
Finally, let’s talk about the most extreme of our seven personalities. Puppet masters have little to no empathy. They treat manipulation like a sport, and they only care about their own satisfaction. If it sounds like I’m describing a psychopath, that’s because I am many puppet masters fit well with clinical definitions of psychopathy.
They’re usually narcissistic and tend to be uncomfortably aggressive. Most importantly, they’ve got this unique combination of high self-worth and a fragile ego. They think they deserve more than anyone, that they’re destined for some kind of power or prestige and unfortunately that self-obsession can lead them down a very dark road.
Not all puppet masters are psychopaths, but you should still keep your distance. Puppet masters have no problem taking advantage of other people – even their friends and family. They developed these parasitic relationships, which lets them benefit from all your hard work since they’re lacking in the empathy department. This doesn’t sound like a problem to them but it is a problem for you. If someone is intentionally using you, it’s time to make a change.