People who are mentally insecure struggle to genuinely celebrate other’s success. Let’s say your friend gets a new job, you know they have been working incredibly hard, yet you don’t feel happy for them. You aren’t proud of what they have accomplished instead you feel insecure or envious. Their success might make you feel belittled.
To cover up this self-doubt, you put them down or start bragging about your own success. Even with close friends, insecure people can’t help comparing themselves. They measure their success by the accomplishments of the people around them.
They don’t feel good about themselves unless they are as good or better than their friends. If they are not they feel weak and embarrassed. Not only can this kind of self-absorption destroy friendships but it can also make you a generally unlikeable person.
So, what if you have no problem celebrating your friends? What does that mean?
It shows that you are not self-centred or narcissistic. You don’t treat your friend’s happiness as an attack on your lifestyle because you are secure about who you are. You know that you have your goals and that they have theirs.
When they have accomplished something that makes them happy, you’re mentally strong enough to celebrate with them.
Also read: Happiness: 12 Rules to Live a Happy Life
Anyone can cater to their strengths. Our gifts give us confidence and self-esteem. We often define ourselves by what we are good at. Our strengths govern the titles we take, the hobbies we like, and the jobs we do.
But sticking to your strengths doesn’t make you a mentally secure person. In fact, many people cringe on their talents as though they’d be nothing without them. They never expand outside their comfort zone because they won’t admit they are in one.
Real mental strength lies in challenging your weaknesses. It’s about understanding what you can’t do. You need to accept that your limitations are a part of who you are. You can’t change them. You can’t run away from them.If you make a habit of doing things that scare you, you are mentally stronger than most. Click To Tweet
When you run into an insurmountable obstacle, what do you do?
Imagine you are trying to run your own business, you start selling your first product and at first, things are going great but a few weeks later, your business tanks. Do you just give up?
People who have mental strength don’t take no for an answer. They face just as many obstacles but never surrender. Instead, they search for innovations and workarounds. They find ways to reroute their goals until they have achieved the success they are looking for.
The simple truth is that there is always an answer. When everything seems hopeless, most fold under the pressure. They sacrifice their dreams because life beat them down. It takes incredible perseverance to keep fighting, to throw things against the wall until something sticks.If you never stop searching for solutions, you are mentally one of the strongest people out there. Click To Tweet
This one may seem counter-intuitive. Why does asking for help make someone stronger?
First and foremost, pride and mental strength are very different. In fact, too much pride is often coupled with deep insecurities. That proud exterior acts as a shield, protecting you from your own fears. Many people are too afraid of appearing weak. They don’t want people to know that they can’t do something. They won’t accept charity because they don’t want to be pitied.
Even when they are struggling, their pride keeps them suffering in silence. People with mental strength know that receiving help doesn’t mean that you are sad or incapable. Everyone needs help at some point.
No one can survive or succeed without occasionally relying on the people around them. Of course, you shouldn’t be co-dependent. You can’t expect the people around you to take care of all your responsibilities. Then, you are just taking advantage of them.
You are intentionally making their lives more difficult to make yours easier. Not only is this selfish but when they have finally had enough, you will find yourself lost and clueless.
But if you are putting in the effort, don’t be afraid to lean on friends and family. It doesn’t make you weak, it just makes you human.
Self-worth is a vague term that gets thrown around a lot. It essentially means that you value yourself as an individual. For most people, the hard part isn’t having self-worth, it’s keeping it. They feel great when things are going their way but that doesn’t always last.
When things take a turn for the worst, their self-image crumbles. Why? Because their version of self-worth wasn’t actually self-worth. They were defining themselves by their accomplishments. They feel valuable because other people see them that way but someone with real self-worth values themselves in good times and bad.
Their failures are frustrating but they don’t invalidate who they are. By being proud of yourself after a devastating loss, you demonstrate the kind of self-worth very few people ever have.
Also read: 4 Habits that will change your life forever
When you make a mistake, you don’t try to pass the blame; you take responsibility for your actions. People with mental strength don’t have a problem apologizing. But you would be surprised how difficult this is for a lot of people.
They rarely if ever apologize even when they know they are wrong. Imagine you are walking down an aisle at the grocery store, you aren’t watching where you are walking so you accidentally run right into someone.
If you would apologize and ask if they were okay, then you are likely a mentally strong person. Someone with a fragile ego would get defensive. They would either pretend that nothing happened or blame the other person for getting in their way.
Ultimately, this leads to anger and guilt. Mentally strong people don’t need to do this. They know how to forgive themselves; they don’t dwell on their own small mistakes because they’ve learnt how to let things go.
Whenever you give a present, do you expect one in return? When you expect something back you are not actually giving for the sake of giving. Mentally strong people don’t have these kinds of expectations. They have no problem giving an unrequited gift because it’s not about the present itself. It’s about the gesture.
Gifts are a way to show somebody else that you care. When you are only doing it to get something back, you have taken a selfless act and made it selfish. You are not trying to show you care, you are just trying to help yourself.
Similar to how people with mental strength celebrate their friends, another person’s happiness is motivation enough.
The same goes for doing favors. If a friend asks for something, they don’t insist that their other friend owes them one afterward.
Having dreamy expectations about others will often leave you feeling disappointed. You can’t always know what someone is thinking and you can’t always change their mind about it either. The best you can do is respect their independence.
Maybe they will do what you were expecting but maybe not. Either way, acceptance is the key to moving forward.
Change is something that you simply can’t avoid. Think about your life five years ago. How old were you? What was different? Usually, people are astounded by the stuck contrast in their life after just five years of change. It just goes to show that change happens whether we think it will or not.
So, here is the most important question. Are you ready for change when it does come?
After all, adapting to change isn’t easy but it’s something people with mental strength do very well. When things go sideways, they don’t panic or lose hope. They believe in their ability to succeed whether they are prepared or not.
This faith gives them the confidence to take risks. It lets them succeed outside their comfort zone. Not because they are any more talented, in fact, they might be untrained and unprepared but it isn’t about what you know, it’s about what you believe you are capable of.
Do you set clear boundaries with the people in your life? Maintaining boundaries is actually a sign of mental strength. It shows self-respect. Because you don’t let people take advantage of you or invade your space.
There is however a difference between setting boundaries and pushing people away. Setting boundaries encourages people to respect what you are comfortable with. You can still establish close friendships even if there are some rules.
For example, you may decide you won’t lend money to your friends. That doesn’t mean that you don’t trust your friends, it’s just something that they don’t respect.
On the other hand, pushing people away ruins your chances of bonding with anyone. Boundaries are there to help friendships last. They shouldn’t stop them from happening. So, don’t shut people out but don’t give everyone full access either.
A simple thank you is a great indicator of mental strength. It shows that you acknowledge the time that others give up for you. They didn’t have to give anything, they could have left you out to dry, but they didn’t.
Gratitude tells them that they matter. It shows that you value them like you value yourself. This is where most egocentric individuals run into trouble. They don’t show gratitude because they don’t respect or value others. They ignore the people that built them up. So, when they inevitably fall no one is there to catch them.
On the other hand, people who show gratitude tend to do well in life. Why? Because they have such a strong support network. Maybe it’s their friends, maybe it’s their family, maybe it’s the people they work with, but no matter what, they value those who are there for them.By appreciating the most important people in your life, you are building healthier relationships and a stronger foundation. Click To Tweet