Everyone has heard the phrase “Nice guys finish last”. I guess this sucks for nice guys, but it’s completely true and there is nothing that you or I can really do about it.
Most girls are not attracted to nice guys and that is not going to change. With that being said, I truly understand the problems that men face. I mean, am a guy! So, it makes sense.
Figuring out girls is pretty hard. For example, most men do not know what girls want and a lot of guys end up spending away their wallets out of desperation.
They try to make girls happy with buying them expensive things but they get confused and so they guess. And when guys guess with their money, they often guess pretty big.
A friend once told me that he had spent thousands of dollars on his girlfriend. That was a big number for me. So, I asked how the relationship was going and he said that they had broken up.
Why? I asked. She had cheated on him with many other guys and he found out about it. He not only lost his girlfriend but he also lost his money, and he had lost his patience.
And I don’t blame him, after all, why would a girl cheat on someone who is being so nice? He bought her expensive stuff and was very loyal. Well, she had a simple answer. “I love you as a friend but I don’t want to date you. You are too much of a nice guy”.
This all begs the question, why do girls hate nice guys? Well, there are basically 3 big reasons.
Also read: The one secret to getting any girl
Now, this wasn’t the case with my friend. He is actually a great guy. The many so-called “nice guys” have secret motives that have nothing to do with being nice.
For example, men might want to sleep with a woman but he doesn’t think that she wants to sleep with him. So, what does he do? He pretends to be nice. He buys her flowers and chocolate and is there for her when she has problems.
But does he really care about her well-being? No. He wants to sleep with her. And that is the definition of being fake.
This is not causation rather it is a correlation.Men who have not experienced real relationships and the heartbreak that comes with it tend to overcommit. Click To Tweet
They go too far. They do too much. And girls think it’s really weird. Inexperience is obvious and it normally implies a bunch of other unattractive qualities: nervousness, dryness, and lack of humor. These are some common examples.Girls want someone who is confident and interesting. Not someone who is staring at them. Click To Tweet
Kids want the candy they never get, just like girls want the guy they can’t be with. This is one reason why men who already have girlfriends are usually more sought after by women.When a guy is in a relationship, he is off the market. He seems more attractive to girls because they just can’t have him. Click To Tweet
The same principle applies to nice guys. Nice guys are very noticeably on the market; they are available and everyone knows this. This makes them a commodity; something anyone can get thus it diminishes how attractive they are.
However, the reverse is also true: people, who act like they don’t care, are viewed as more attractive.
This is why sometimes, girls actually go for jerks. They aren’t nice, they do not care about you and they are hard to get! And yet they sometimes win.
But don’t take this to mean that you should be a jerk! Human decency should never be forgotten because you are bad at talking to girls.
Most guys think of this problem in the bimoto way; as in you can either be an overly nice guy or you can be a total jerk but there is no in between.
Unfortunately, this is a really bad way to think about it. Neither of those two extremes is healthy. And neither of them will help you build positive lasting relationships. And when I say those words, I am not trying to be a counselor.
Having good relationships romantic or not is incredibly important. Most people get their first job because of the connections that they make. The world is a giant network and the smart thing to do is to embrace it positively.
BOTTOM LINE: Don’t be a jerk, and don’t be overly nice because your success with girls won’t be good with either of those strategies.
Now I can understand if you are feeling a little bit confused right now. I basically just told you that being nice and being mean are both bad ideas when it comes to girls. And this confusion is a common problem.
Guys just don’t know how to act so they use heuristics. What are those? Great question! Heuristics are policies for solving a problem when you don’t know what to do otherwise. And they say when people don’t know what to do; they revert to what they know.
So, when guys don’t know how to act around girls, they think of two common ways: being a jerk or being overly nice. So, instead, I am going to give you 2 different approaches.
These are simple mental strategies that will help you make your personality more natural, open and attractive to the girl that you like.
Now, of course, it might seem silly to try this because you are going to know who you actually like. But the point is taking her off your mind so that you don’t feel under pressure. Pressure leads to heuristics and you already know what those lead to.
Now, this may seem counterproductive, but it’s not. The purpose here is twofold. First of all, it again takes them away from your headspace allowing you to act like you normally would around anyone else.
Secondly, it makes you hard to get, and if there is anyone who knows how effective that is, it’s modern day men.
Also read: The 6 Secrets to Flirting with ANY Girl